Dogs are well good aren’t they? I mean if you don’t love dogs then you are a freak and you probably have no soul and no hope of ever finding love. Dogs can teach us so much about compassion, love, fun and well you know life. But some of you fucking fucks aren’t looking after your canine companion’s correctly so I’ve written a short list on how to look after a dog like a real human being with feelings and common sense and not like doughnut.
Reasons to get a dog. There are many reasons to get a dog, companionship, exercise, Love and many more. But, because your child wants one is not a reason. I’m pretty sure most children want a fire engine or a space suit but you don’t just pop out and get them one because they really want it. Imagine if you brought your child everything they ever asked for? You would have a garden full of weird stuff and a house full of Pokémon cards (Or whatever is currently cool). I think it is important to have pets growing up it teaches children responsibility, love and all about life and death. However just because on Tuesday the 10th of May little Tommy said in his cutest voice “I will love him, and feed him and walk him every day” does not mean that he will “feed him, and walk him, and love him every day” pretty soon you will be the one who has to “feed him, and walk him, and love him every day” so ask yourself are you ready for this? Remember what little tommy got for Christmas last year? NO! Neither does he because he got bored of it like children do. Except when he gets bored of this Christmas present it is actually a living thing that you can’t just put in the attic. Well you can but that is disgusting! What kind of a person are you? Aside from children telling you what to do, other reasons not to get a dog are;
- Man in pub was selling one cheap.
- Boyfriend left me.
- Girlfriend might leave me if I don’t bring some excitement into my life.
- Dog might stop people stealing my stuff.
- Dog makes me look hard as fuck.
Choosing a dog. There are loads of different types of dogs, they aren’t just different aesthetically, their breed can give you an indication into their personality. However even within the breed all dogs are not the same. Just like all human beings with brown hair are not the same. So first of all do your research into a breed that is suitable for you. Now I’m a strong believer that if you walk and entertain your dog enough then the size of your house doesn’t matter too much. But let’s face it if you live in a studio apartment you probably don’t want a Great Dane. That giant dog will be all up in your shit and you won’t have an attic to put him in. so have a look on the internet, hey your using it to read this fantastic blog so I’m sure you know how to google. www.google.com ya know just in case. Pick a dog that fits your lifestyle. My top tip is if you don’t like mud and gross things being put on your lap don’t get a Labrador.
Acquiring your dog. I’m not getting on a high horse here like many people do. If you want to buy a dog because you like a specific breed then that’s perfectly cool. But buy it from a responsible source. If you live in countries that still sell dogs in pet shops. Stop buying dogs from fucking pet shops. You’re not part of the solution by saving that dog you are part of the problem. If you want to adopt a dog then right on brother. Adopting a dog will also give you a great way to let other dog owns know you are proper sound. You’ll bump into them and they will say “hey nice dog” and you will say “yeah he’s great, I adopted this guy from a dog home because I’m Proper sound” and then you can go about your day knowing that one more person knows that you really are proper sound.
“Feed Him, and walk him, and love him every day” you know that feeling you get when you know you have a really great meal planned for tonight? Well that is how your dog feels about every meal ever. So feed your dog. You know that feeling you get when the sickest tune drops in the club or when you realised Bruce Willis was dead the whole time at the end of the sixth sense? Well that is how your dog feels about every walk ever. So walk your dog. You know that feeling you had when you were ill as a child and your mum took care of you? Or when you have a bad day and your partner kisses you softly on the head? That feeling you get when you see a new-born child for the first time? Well yeah you guessed it! That is how your dog feels about you every day ever. So love your dog like they love you.
Well there we have it, I hope I wasn’t too Ruff on you?
But in all seriousness if you want to get a dog then just try and be a sort of ok person that doesn’t ruin the short life span of something that only has the capacity to love, eat, poop and sleep.